New year, new you...yet?

Are we setting resolutions the whirlwind of prospects for the year in vain? Are letting them fade out because we are lazy failures that would prefer to binge watch that ‘Cheer’ doc-series? Is it our fault that we stayed out until 3 AM after Chewbacchus and slept through 6 alarms and missed that morning run? So many questions and it’s easy to beat ourselves up when we fail. After all, if we were better/stronger/smarter people we could accomplish all our resolutions! Right?

No.

Well, maybe, but mostly no. 

matrix new year.jpg

Look- here is where I think we get it wrong with the promises we make to ourselves: I think this conversation needs to start in a different way. We need to know why we want what we want, not just what we want. Got it?

For example, I made myself one resolution this year, I wanted to read 30 books. Here’s where I went right: I set this intention because I love reading and I find it meditative. As someone who runs high-anxiety forcing myself to slow down and read makes me feel better and smarter. Who doesn't want to feel smart? So there! I know my why, make more time to read so I can feel better. 

Here’s where I fucked up: setting this arbitrary number goal. It’s February 4th as I write these words and I’ve finished 1 book and I’m halfway through a second. If you have the math skills of a 2nd grader you know I need to read 2.5 books a month to stay on track and hit my goal. I am already behind schedule and the year has only just started. Sure, I could catch up in these next few months but I actually don’t really feel the need to. The more I put my goal in perspective the more I see that I am actually doing what my ‘why’ needs. 

  1. I am reading more.

  2. I’ve actively made time in my life for reading in an intentional way.

  3.  I bought a book light! 

  4. I have several more books I’m excited about reading lined up.

It sort of feels like I am both crushing this resolution and yet I’m still annoyed with myself. I feel like I wont hit that 30 and for some reason that really burns me up! Why did I pick this ridiculous number? Ultimately, I shouldn’t have. 

We live in a world that is obsessed with numbers. What is your net worth? What is your goal weight? How many passing yards does Brees need to beat the record? When we boil our goals down to a number we completely railroad our why, our ultimate motivator. Once we’ve lost sight of that it’s difficult to stay on track. 

There are a lot of people in the world who have an extremely high networth who are miserable, or have simply stolen their money from others. It’s possible to have a weight above or below your “goal weight” and be happy and healthy. Bree’s being the GOAT is so much bigger than his records.

So if you’re getting frustrated with yourself this February, if you feel like you’ve lost track of those lofty resolutions, I get it. I challenge you to sit down with your “why” for a few minutes and make some new ones. Be nice to yourself! 

Growth is hard but it is important. 

Mary Jacobs